a sobering thought

In high school, we had a favorite saying: "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts."

Time and time again, this has proven true. However. Most drunk men- and women- don't act on their drunken expressions of desire. Their secret wants and needs. If they did, the entire social structure of the world would change. Freed from pretension, we'd all be a lot happier. Of course, a lot more people would probably be in the hospitals on Sundays. And in the free clinic on Mondays. A lifetime of self denial, frustration and repressed desire torn down with a few shots, a couple of beers and a mission.

In high school, I knew people who did exactly what they said they would do when they were drinking. I should know; I was one of them. Taking drunken dares and acting out in an attempt to slough off a long week at school. Things that I said I would do when I was drinking that I actually did:

*Rolled down an enormous hill after a huge keg party at an abandoned house. I rolled right into a tree, injuring my ankle.

*Removed a twist-off cap from a beer bottle with my teeth. I found out later… it wasn't a twist-off. I still have a tiny chip on my tooth.

*Went skinny-dipping in a fountain in the middle of town. The guards came out. With the guard dogs. Resulting in a high-speed drive home. Sans clothing.

The only really unique thing about these three drunken feats is that they all happened in the same night.

Drinking can give you courage to do things you'd never have the nerve to do sober; it can also get you into a lot of trouble. Embarrass you and your family. Be harmful to other people.

Some warning signs that you might be giving in to your sober thoughts when you are drinking: If you are doing late-night drive-bys, making phone calls at midnight (and then hanging up, arghh) and repeatedly sending random text messages and emails, then you have some unresolved issues. To say the least.

And if you don't remember why you did it... Or remember doing it at all, then you probably have some other problems that also need to be addressed.

Some advice: Clean up after yourself; and face what needs to be faced in the sober light of morning. And above all, quit calling me and hanging up.

This isn't high school, after all.