i kind of hate you
If you receive requests for something of a business nature and you can’t help but you know someone who can, but you kind of hate that other person, should you still send them the business?
I’ve been struggling with this question for a while now. In the past, I’ve always thrown work to other people. Sometimes I asked for a referral fee, sometimes I didn’t. I’m a big believer in supporting other small businesspeople. So whether or not I get something out of it, I want to help others out. I love the network. I’m a huge networker and I enjoy helping people, whether it’s finding a good used car for a kid just out of school or throwing work someone else’s way.
In addition, I truly want to help the people who come to me looking for someone who can help them. Since I often feel overloaded with work, I sometimes have to take a pass on a new project. In the spirit of goodwill, sending new contacts to someone else that can help them out has always been a natural solution.
But like a lot of people, some of my work life is mixed up with my personal life. So instead of sending someone to a reputable writing company or a talented retailer, I’m instead looking at a network of failed relationships and ex-boyfriends who I don’t want to talk to, let alone help succeed. Well. I sort of feel that way.
It’s harder than you might imagine, blowing someone off who wants advice about who to hire or where to shop. I don’t like to do it. I want to help. And I know all about the struggles of being self employed, so in general, I want to help others.
But what do you do when your network suddenly seems full of people who have let you down? Have betrayed you, lied and generally tried to make trouble for you? In fact, one person even took work away from me after we had a disagreement. That’s messing with my livelihood, man. So why should I help them, when they’re so unprofessional?
Why? Because I’m a nice person, I guess. That’s probably the biggest issue I have with trying to be firm and not help other people, no matter how poorly they have treated me. Even as I’m writing this, and saying I don’t want "some" people to succeed, I know it isn’t true. Of course I want them to do well.
See what a sap I am?
But do I have to be the conduit for someone else’s success if they haven't been good to me? What is my moral and karmatic responsibility here?
I’ve been struggling with this question for a while now. In the past, I’ve always thrown work to other people. Sometimes I asked for a referral fee, sometimes I didn’t. I’m a big believer in supporting other small businesspeople. So whether or not I get something out of it, I want to help others out. I love the network. I’m a huge networker and I enjoy helping people, whether it’s finding a good used car for a kid just out of school or throwing work someone else’s way.
In addition, I truly want to help the people who come to me looking for someone who can help them. Since I often feel overloaded with work, I sometimes have to take a pass on a new project. In the spirit of goodwill, sending new contacts to someone else that can help them out has always been a natural solution.
But like a lot of people, some of my work life is mixed up with my personal life. So instead of sending someone to a reputable writing company or a talented retailer, I’m instead looking at a network of failed relationships and ex-boyfriends who I don’t want to talk to, let alone help succeed. Well. I sort of feel that way.
It’s harder than you might imagine, blowing someone off who wants advice about who to hire or where to shop. I don’t like to do it. I want to help. And I know all about the struggles of being self employed, so in general, I want to help others.
But what do you do when your network suddenly seems full of people who have let you down? Have betrayed you, lied and generally tried to make trouble for you? In fact, one person even took work away from me after we had a disagreement. That’s messing with my livelihood, man. So why should I help them, when they’re so unprofessional?
Why? Because I’m a nice person, I guess. That’s probably the biggest issue I have with trying to be firm and not help other people, no matter how poorly they have treated me. Even as I’m writing this, and saying I don’t want "some" people to succeed, I know it isn’t true. Of course I want them to do well.
See what a sap I am?
But do I have to be the conduit for someone else’s success if they haven't been good to me? What is my moral and karmatic responsibility here?
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